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| Fr. John Cusick |
Have you ever been afraid? I mean really afraid? Have you ever lived in fear?
Sometimes fear is a reaction to what lies ahead – the unknown. But often fear inside of us is driven by something that has already happened to us. Many people who have really been burned in a relationship move into new relationships slowly. They don’t want to repeat the mistakes of the past.
Have you ever had an auto accident? When you get behind the wheel the next time, you tend to drive more slowly and are much more aware of everything around you and your car. Fear dictates that you are not going to make that mistake again (even if it wasn’t your fault).
Have you ever broken an arm, leg, ankle, collar bone or some other body part? You get the drift by now. The fear of that happening again will make you do as much as you can to avoid a “repeat.”
When Mary hurried back to Jesus’ disciples, she announced (can you see and hear her shouting?): "They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don't know where they put him!" (John 20:2). At the announcement, “Peter and the other disciple went out and came to the tomb. They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter and arrived at the tomb first.” (verse 3) What’s that all about? It’s the fear thing. Also, it is the love thing.
Peter was in no hurry. The other disciple, John, the one whom Jesus loved, was in a hurry.
In order to appreciate each of their reactions and responses to Mary’s announcement, you need to remember their last encounters with Jesus. Peter, warming his hands by the fire after Jesus was arrested, denied knowing Him. Here is the encounter from Luke's Gospel: Peter said, "I do not know what you are talking about." Just as he was saying this, the cock crowed, and the Lord turned and looked at Peter; and Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, "Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times." He went out and began to weep bitterly. (Luke 22:61-62) On the other hand, John, the one whom Jesus loved, was at the foot of the cross with Mary, the mother of Jesus. Love was in a hurry to experience the presence of the Lord again.
At Mary’s announcement, John (love) gets to the tomb first. Peter (fear) follows. Fear constrains. Love releases. Fear can paralyze us. It holds us to the past and we act in the future, fearfully reacting to and making decisions based on mistakes, problems and experiences of the past.
It is very hard to see new possibilities and new life always worrying about and reacting to the pain of the past. Living in love allows us the possibility of dreaming great dreams, seeing what can be and building our lives on those new possibilities. The fullness of life always lies ahead. Can you “see” that?
And remember, up to this point in John’s Gospel, no one - not Mary, Peter, or John - had experienced the Resurrected Lord Jesus. They were still living in the dark. John’s Gospel is laying out the strategy (it is still dark on the first day of the week) to make this happen."
So, a few questions for us to ponder...
- What have been your greatest fears? How has life changed because of them? Do those fears still have power over you?
- What are your greatest hopes? Have you ever experienced love? How has loved impacted your life and impacted what you see and do right now?
- Do you believe that the Lord Jesus is always with you?
Next we will see how fear and love work in the wonderful resurrection story in John’s Gospel (chapter 20).
Fr. John Cusick
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